Book Club: Girl, Wash Your Face
Updated: Oct 10, 2018
Have you ever read a book and felt like the author was speaking directly to you? Not like “Oh, wow, I could apply this to my life.” No, I am talking smack you across face, grab your attention, make you ugly cry on your kitchen floor speak to you…
The kind where you question if the author knows your inner most thoughts and question whether or not the author had you in mind when writing. Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis is that book.
Rachel reaches out through the pages and grabs my attention. She tells it like it is in a gentle “I love you, friend” way, but at the same time, it is a fierce “YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER!”
Rachel talks about different lies that she believed. I swear she was in my head with so many of these lies. The ones that really seemed to hit home hard were: I am not Good Enough, I am not a Good Mom and I should be farther along by now.
Lets talk about the first, I am not good enough. I have told myself this line over and over again. It plays like white noise in the background of my mind. Or it did. When I said I wanted to be a blogger, I told myself it would be a fun hobby, but that I would never be good enough at writing, story telling, vulnerability to actually make it a career. When I said I wanted to get my Master’s degree, I told myself, that if by some miracle, I graduated, that I would never be good enough to be a PhD program. I told myself that I wasn’t good enough… why? Because it is easier than mustering up the courage to fail. It is easier for me to say no than to be told no or face criticism.
The second lie that I believed fiercely was that I am not a Good Mom. I defined a good mom as so many things. I am not going to list them out, because when I have read lists like that, I end up adding my list and feeling guilty for not already having it on my list. For whatever reason, I started believing that I needed to have it all together. That deep cleaning my home, my sex life, spontaneous family adventures needed to happen X amount of times a month to feel like a good mom (and wife). I felt that because I could not live up to expectations put on me by no one else BUT me, that I was failing as a mother.
The third (and certainly not the last) lie I connected with was that I am not as far along as I would like to be. This can be post-baby weight, owning a home, a doctoral program, paying off student loans, our dream vacation fund, clean eating every meal 24/7, ugh… the list goes on and on of where I SHOULD be versus where I am. I am learning to embrace the process to give grace when I am disappointed and to continue to push through when I feel like quitting.
Reading this book was like taking a deep breath after holding your breath under water for as long as you can. It felt like I was bursting through the water when I realized that I was not alone in my fears, the lies I believed or my desire to shut them out. It felt as if I was free to say “me too” without feeling judged, alone or shamed for it.
It reminded me that I may not be in control of everything, but that I am in control of how I respond and how I choose to live. It reminded me that having a good support system and community are vital to thriving.
I want to create a safe space for women to say “me too”. To be able to be honest with themselves and others, to say I am struggling, I am not perfect, I am not completely put together. I need community. We need each other, we need honesty, vulnerability and togetherness. I want to thrive. I want you to thrive.
Girl, Wash Your Face felt like a step in the right direction for me. It felt safe to say I have believed that lie too. I encourage you, if you have not read this book, pick it up at your local library, download Audible and let Rachel read it to you, drive to your nearest bookstore, or Amazon Prime it. There is something in this book for each and every one of us. Rachel is real and authentic.
Have you read Girl, Wash Your Face? What lies did you connect with?