We Endure: I am Enough
Written by Robin
It was the middle of finals week in December 2010 when I received the call. Through sobs, my sister explained that she had just discovered, in an awful way, that our dad had been cheating on our mom.
I could not believe what I was hearing. There was no way this could be reality.
“You’re sure what you saw?” I said.
“YES!” She continued crying.
That night she confronted my dad, asking if he’d tell our mom. He said he had planned to. For two weeks, my sister and I carried the burden of this tragic truth.
Two days after Christmas, I woke up to yelling and loud rustling.
My heart sank. I knew exactly what was happening.
I walked downstairs to find my mom, fuming, and my dad flustered as he gathered his things.
He said, “Well you know what happened.” He then gave me a somewhat aggressive hug, picked up his stuff, and left.
My mom turned to me as she took a deep breath to break the news to me.
“I already know.”
“We found out a couple weeks ago.”
My mom became angry at the thought of her daughters being thrown into such a horrid tension.
When my sister finally came down to join my mom and I, she realized what had happened. For the next half hour, we just sat and cried.
When the tears became light sobs and sniffles, my mom said, “We are not going to become bitter from this, we are going to become better.”
She then prayed.
I wish I could say that this scene described the extent of what our hearts would have to endure.
Over the course of the next eight years, our hearts would gain strength as the burden increased.
My dad chose not to reconcile with my mom. He left her in financial turmoil. He found a new wife only a few years older than me, with whom he started a new family.
Every time I thought I’d forgiven him, I discovered something new that ripped off the scab that had just started to heal on my heart.
I struggled through feeling unloved, abandoned, and unworthy. I questioned the integrity of men and projected my fears and pain onto the wonderful man I ended up marrying.
Through it all, I stumbled forward in counseling, in prayer, and most often, in tears.
Recently I talked with my dad. I shared with him my breakthrough in realizing that I AM ENOUGH, and that I wanted him to know that he was as well.
He ended up telling me how he struggled with the same feelings of inadequacy that I did, and by the end of it, he thanked me for sharing my break through with him. He went on to say that he wanted to stay in touch.
“I want to be your dad,” he said.
Holding back tears, I replied, “Thanks. I want you to be my dad.”
Suffering produces hope. Romans 5:3-5.
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Each of our guest authors has submitted their own writing in order to share their story. The Sunkissed Peach is committed to creating a community in which people can be open and share honestly, in all walks of life. If you are triggered by any of these stories, I ask that you reach out to a mental health professional or counselor. If you relate or have had a similar experience, please feel free to comment and interact with the author.