We Endure: Through Anxiety
Updated: Apr 26, 2018
Written by Nicki Trevino
How will I get through today?
What if I am not good enough for this?
Why am I not as confident, or as knowledgeable, as that person?
I have always had little episodes of anxiety since I was a child, but it became intensified about three years ago…around the same time I was going through a lot of changes in my life—moving to a different city by myself, starting grad school, starting a brand new relationship, leaving behind my family and friends and everything I once knew as comfortable. My whole world was completely turned upside-down…and there were many days that were crippled by anxiety—heart pounding, stomach turning, constant fears running through my mind. It was the start of learning to be accompanied by something that still affects my life every day.
Over the years, I have learned to be more comfortable with my anxiety. At first, I found it difficult to open up to people because mental illness can be such a taboo topic…people, especially in the church, don’t seem to want to talk about it. Oftentimes we get caught up in the lie, “You must not be praying enough or following God faithfully enough, and that’s why you are suffering mentally. Just pray it away.” Friends, if you get one thing out of this, please know: nothing could be further from the truth. You are not alone, and mental struggles are no different than physical aches and pains. Dealing with mental illness can sometimes be an incredibly lonely road, but I have been able to find so much freedom in being transparent about my struggles.
"Well done, my good and faithful servant. Never again will you suffer. Never again will you have anxiety, or worry, or grief, or sickness, or tears."
Having anxiety has taught me to be kinder, to be more empathetic towards those who are struggling, and to take better care of myself so that I can serve God and others more faithfully. It has opened the door for meaningful conversations with others who are struggling. And most importantly, it has pulled me closer to God. In that gut-wrenching way, where I felt like I had nothing but God—and I realized that is truly all I need.
I want to endure the life that God has chosen me for, with joy. On the days when I feel so warn down, I want to remember that I have a Savior who endured far more for me than I can ever imagine. I want to remember that God promises to carry our burdens for us. I want to remember that this life is just a blink of an eye. How sweet it will be when I leave this earth one day and I will finally be face to face with my Savior, and He will say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Never again will you suffer. Never again will you have anxiety, or worry, or grief, or sickness, or tears.” In the midst of my deepest pain, I can gladly look forward to that.
Facebook: Nicki Trevino
Each of our guest authors has submitted their own writing in order to share their story. The Sunkissed Peach is committed to creating a community in which people can be open and share honestly, in all walks of life. If you are triggered by any of these stories, I ask that you reach out to a mental health professional or counselor. If you relate or have had a similar experience, please feel free to comment and interact with the author.